haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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