Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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