She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
its liver damage thursday
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
