I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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