I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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