if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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