i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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