she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
