he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
