Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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