the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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