What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
