Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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