So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
