Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We left the knife in your bed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
