i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
