weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
