I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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