then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
