Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
