is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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