dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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