# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
