i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
