when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
