If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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