I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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