flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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