I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
