Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
