Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
