Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
