Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
