Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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