i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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