nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
