Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
