Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
wow bdsm is so cute
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
