I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Green mimosas i think yes
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
