Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
