she woke up with a sticky ear
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
