Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
