dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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