from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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