People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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