You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
