He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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