only you would photoshop your dick
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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