He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
