I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
