I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
