She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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