Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
