Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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