Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
