So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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