Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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