Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize