That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
