How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
