Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize