We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
