Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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