It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
