I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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